Officially
Fragile
I went for my check-up the other day
A long-delayed appointment
And had to sit amongst the great unwashed
Whilst awaiting my consultation
And when it finally came round to me
And made it inside to see the doc
I sat myself upon the patient’s chair
And he asked me what my trouble was
Where to begin? I said morosely
And then proceeded to tell him of my woes
Of all my aches and pains
The stiffness in my joints
My general lack of energy
And all my trouble sleeping
That I hated taking tablets
Of how my hip was always hurting
As I waited for my operation
That I disliked walking with a stick
And was frightened now of falling
That I couldn’t carry heavy shopping
Nor stand for long when riding on the bus
How everything felt so exhausting
And how my bladder was no longer to be trusted
And he listened patiently to me
Despite all the others waiting in his queue
Asked a few general leading questions
Felt my pulse, took my blood pressure
And perused my bulging patient file
Before coming to his sad conclusion –
That I was doing pretty well, considering
My great advance in years
And it was only to be expected
He told me I’d earned a new designation
And reached another milestone in my life
He explained that I was now “officially fragile”
And that I must be extra careful
Because my bones were dry and brittle
That any breakage might be my last
And that my body would shy away from healing
So it’s a cotton-wool existence now for me
No going out or taking risks
Avoiding any surface that is hard
Which rules out just about everything I love
So I might just have to cancel
That long-awaited skiing holiday
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