Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 11th July 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. As predicted, the withdrawal of D-Town’s shock troops from the tribal areas of Trowvegas has led to the whole countryside being quickly re-invaded by dissident elements of the Trowiban, the so-called “freedom fighters” of West Wiltshire, but otherwise known as fanatics of the I-Slam-It faith. Border checkpoints have come under fire, and regular services of the 49 bus have been disrupted by roadside attacks.
2. Meanwhile, the whole town is wilting under the sheer weight of expectation regarding tonight’s almost-important football match between D-Town Casuals and The Sham Shoutouts. Against all expectations, Casuals have reached their first final in their 55-year history, and this has come as something of a shock. Only last night the team discovered that they had no clean strip to play in, that several players had already booked holidays to a wide range of Amber-list countries, and that star striker Alf Resco (who is a milkman in real life) has to be up very early to do his round. The team have promised to lose in normal time, so that the game does not go to extra time or penalties, which would mean too late a finish.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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