Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 20th October 2013
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1.
In a blow to the Government’s much-heralded flagship
education policy, Bromham’s Agricultural Literal Learning School (BALLS) was
forced to close this week, following an inspection visit by Ofsted. In an often damning report, the school was
criticised for:
o
Forcing male pupils to wear flat caps in class;
o
Insisting on baler twine being used to hold up
pupils’ trousers;
o
Separating students in class on the basis of the
number of toes they had;
o
Teaching only in the local Oo-aar dialect.
2.
And
in a shock announcement, the Bromham Power Company has announced that gas and
electric prices will rise by more than the rate of inflation. Village residents were reduced to walking up
and down the High Street, shaking their heads in amazement and disappointment. This latest blow comes hot on the heels of
recent discoveries that:
o
Bears
have been defecating in the local woods;
o
The
Pope is indeed a Catholic;
o
The
cheque is in the post.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2013
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