Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 27th October 2013
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1.
Bromham has been in a frantic social whirl this
week. The daughter of the bloke that runs the chip shop on the High Street had
her baby christened at St Knickerless, the Bromham Parish Church and Drop-In
Centre. Much speculation had surrounded
who would be named as the child’s god-parents, but this turned out to be rather
predictable in the end when seven members of her own family were named – Peter Piglet,
Paul Piglet, Jock ‘One-eyed’ Piglet, Penelope Piglet, Priscilla Piglet,
Peregrine Piglet and Tom ‘Shagger’ Piglet, the latter being strongly suspected
of being the child’s biological father.
2.
A
row has broken out between the owners of the village shop and the Post Office
as to which of them is intercepting the phone calls of the other. Angela Piglet, owner of the Village Stores,
has accused Barratt Brahma, Manager of the Post Office of intercepting her
phone calls, particularly those involving large orders for envelopes and other
stationery. However, a simpler cause may
have been discovered on Wednesday when the man from the local phone company was
seen outside the local phone cabinet scratching his head, looking into the
tangle of wires, and muttering something incomprehensible about spaghetti. After experimenting with a few connections,
he then drove off in his van. Since then
no-one in Bromham has been able to receive the correct phone calls. The village primary school has been inundated
with cold calls from companies trying sell them stair-lifts, pensions and
funeral plans.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2013
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