I've Got A Little List

I’ve Got A Little List (with apologies to G&S – from The Mikado)

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,

I've got a little list — I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!

There’s the looters and the rioters out there on the street,

The people with sticky hands and stolen trainers on their feet.

Youths who hide behind disadvantaged backgrounds to cover up the crime,

But when it comes to working against it, just don’t seem to have the time.

There’s no real excuses for it, so I continue to insist:

They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

I’ve got 'em on the list — I’ve got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed.

There’s the dubious politicians and others of that kind,

And the self-appointed advisors – I’ve got them on the list!

And the government officials who don’t seem to pay it any mind -

They never would be missed – they never would be missed!

As long as you’ve got money, or plenty of favours for to give,

You can get easy work - as a Government lobbyist!

We’re talking about people who sit in Government -

No – I don’t think that they’d be missed, I’m sure they won’t be missed.

They’re just bad sorts abusing their privileged position,

At the tax-payers’ expense – it’s time we had an Inquisition!

I’ve got them on the list — I’ve got them on the list;
And I don't think they'll be missed — I'm sure they’ll not be missed

And there’s them that won’t pay their taxes, no matter how much they earn,

The Revenue let them get away with it – they never seem to learn.

There’s money stashed in Switzerland and out there in Cayman,

Using accountants who run rings around us mere laymen.

But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!.

Corruption and self-serving are traits that run very deep,

No-one should expect them ever to desist,

For high moral standards are things that are hard to keep.

It’s a way of life that ever will persist.

Quiet whispers, taps on the shoulder, and smoky-room deals,

That’s the way to get things done, and how to oil the wheels.

You may put 'em on the list — you may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed!

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2018