Because

 Because…

Because now that I know

…I wish that I didn’t

               …a rabbit that’s out of the hat

Because I keep thinking about it

…dreams of engulfment

…nightmares too bad to bear

Because when I wake up it should just go away

               …dissolve like the rest of my night terrors

…into great gulps of relief

…but this time it doesn’t

Because this time it’s true

…and I can’t the thing shake it off

               …stuck to me limpet-like

Because there’s no easy solution

…no simple way out

                              …nor way to avoid it

Because there’s no amount of money

…that could be scraped together

…that would pay this thing off

Because it doesn’t take bribes

               …no price of my ransom

…nor even listen to reason

Because it’s unfeeling

…it doesn’t know what it’s doing

…nor realise what it’s doing to my life

Because my peace of mind is failing

…because this is it

…because this time it’s real

…because it’s so frightening

That’s why I’m shouting

…calling out in my sleep

…because I’m afraid

 

 Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020