Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 18th October 2020
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Following
the latest Covid clampdowns, the troublesome northern areas of The Vize have
again broken away in rebellion.
Declaring themselves free to make their own rules and regulations D-Town
United Major Businesses (DUMB) have set up a new border crossing point on the Swindon
Road and begun issuing their own currency, stamps and passports. Determined not to be used as “the canaries in
the mine” regarding lockdown effectiveness, all caged wild birds have been
banned in homes with more than two adults, unless there is a “y” in the day,
and mining operations near the Avebury Badlands have been suspended until
further notice.
2. And
in the latest local conspiracy theory, it has been revealed that conspiracy
theorists are being blamed for the spread of Covid infections. It is thought that their preferred lifestyles
(sitting in their underpants in front of a computer screen for long periods,
and connected to the interwebthingy) may allow the virus to breed in their
brain cavities and be transmitted along electrical wires. It is also suspected that Covid-19 may cross
barriers using WiFi and Bluetooth mechanisms.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020
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